There are several things we need to get off our chest. We’ve been carrying some baggage and if we’re gonna move forward – you and us together – there are a few topics we need to air out. Let’s start with this one…here’s a story for ya:
Quinn left the stadium early. The game was nearly over and he wanted to beat traffic. Two girls were ahead of him as he walked to his car. They noticed him and (not thinking he was merely parked in the same lot) the girls quickened their pace. Instead of walking side-by-side they actually joined arms and visibly pulled each other close. Now, Quinn isn’t a physically imposing character, but it was his presence that made the pair react. While the girls turned to their car and Quinn continued to his, a wave of hurt filled him. The girls didn’t know him, nor did he signal any ill-conceived plot against them, he merely was…well, a “he.” Quinn recognized the reason for their reaction – he’s a guy.
Suspicion, distrust and hurt exists between the sexes. In that brief five-minute walk to his car, Quinn suddenly understood the gulf between the genders. However, here’s what hurt him most… The extent of the damage has become so severe the girls’ reaction was instinctive. They didn’t think, “Is that boy a threat or is he just walking to his car?” Without hesitation they clung to each other for safety. Quinn saw it happen right before his eyes, but the unfortunate thing is that not all of us know this divide exists. The horrible truth is that some of us think it’s our place or duty as guys to do things that further widen this mistrust.
We’ve made it about us. Men are dominant and need to be entertained or pleased, and we’ve made it the woman’s role to be our toy or the whim of our desire. What a load of crap! We’ve got it wrong. So wrong that we’ve made some of you believe it! The girls aren’t at fault for assuming they may be in danger (better safe than sorry), rather, the guys are at fault for making this danger too probable.
The horrible truth is that some of us think it’s our place or duty as guys to do things that further widen this mistrust.
We do not decide how smart, successful, respectable or beautiful you are. That decision belongs to God. Those qualities live inside you and only you hold the key to your future. We are the lucky ones!… To fall for you and be given a lifetime to admire your charms…wow!!!
Can we ask you a favor? …Help us become better guys.
Attraction (physical attraction especially) is one thing, but the real bond comes in the way you challenge us. Don’t cower in fear toward us. Nor let us think we’re being fair to you. (Personally I admit I haven’t been fair…I’ve known Quinn’s story for two years and never shared it. That’s 24 months without letting you or my guys know what he saw happen out there.) Show us your personality, shed light on your interests, share with us your dreams. Let’s be a part of a community, not a community apart.
Our “avoiding the issues between us” doesn’t let us enjoy our time together. Society has been getting away with nurturing this partition for too long. We need to be accountable…if we don’t stop drifting away from each other where will it end?
Let’s be a part of a community, not a community apart.
You girls are wonderful people (people, not things)! So talk to us. What’s on your mind and in your heart? Let us know when we’re messing up – individually or as a whole. As stated, there are some of us that don’t know we’ve done anything wrong. (I’ll try to fill my buddies in on this issue and together we’ll figure this out. But while I’m asking – can you let us know when we’re doing something right, too? Sorry, but we can be a little slow sometimes…)
Anyway. This is something on our mind. And it can’t stop here. Love isn’t shown through words…but with actions and in truth. We’ll do a better job of good actions and truthful love for our Ladies…if you’ll only forgive us and help us understand our mistakes and the mistakes of our brothers.
We owe it to you.
Much love! (and truth!)