The Annual Parent/Daughter Argument
It is finally summer, the sweltering hot season of friends, boys and dynamic outfits. Yes, the sizzling months have arrived and you are armed and ready.
You immediately put on your shortest skirt and skimpiest top and think to yourself, “this is what summer fashion is all about, right?” and head down the stairs to your first official day of freedom. Obviously, this outfit is going to knock your crush’s socks off (just like you planned), and you’ll be the envy of all your girlfriends. But, before you can sprint out the door, a looming figure causes you to stop dead in your tracks. It’s mom, and she’s not happy. She’s giving you the horrified mom-stare, which is causing you to freeze like a deer in headlights.
You know exactly what that look means: You aren’t leaving the house until you change your outfit.
Your mom would much rather prefer if you left the house in a nice pair of slacks and a high-collared polo, which isn’t exactly your idea of a fashionable outfit. So why is she trying to make you dress like her? Believe it or not, it isn’t because she wants to ruin your life. In fact, it is just the opposite.
Your mom is having a hard time knowing how to support you during your teenager years. She’s watching you grow into a woman, and it’s hard for her to see you run down the stairs in an outfit that she believes your five-year old cousin could fit into. Your mom wants to see you become the virtuous and beautiful young woman she believes you are. She’s struggling to know how to encourage you to step out and be that person without over stepping your bounds, which could potentially hurt you. So, the main question is, where can you both meet on equal ground? You shouldn’t have to conform to what your mom thinks, that’s still conforming yourself to the ideals of another person rather than being the person God designed you to be. However, your actions need to honor and respect your mother.
Although you could continue to give your mom heart attacks by not changing your style of dress, it might get old halfway through the summer. You’re not going to want to fight with her forever. The problem is, you don’t want to give up your summer look, so here’s what you do.
- Analyze Your Look: Does the look that you’re presenting really fit your character and personality? If your mom has some issues with what you’re wearing, it might be because it contradicts your real beauty – the beauty your mom sees every day.
- Ask yourself whom you’re trying to please: More often than not, your mom knows you better than anyone else in the world, so if she’s not satisfied with your look, then whom are you attempting to appease? Are you trying to fit into the crowd at school? Are you trying to attract a boy? Are you feeling pressure from the media to look a certain way? Are all the clothes that YOU like at the store extra short and skimpy?
- Compromise: You will work with people most of your life to find a solution to a problem. Rather than ignoring the issue or believing that you’re way is right, it’s best to find a healthy compromise. Dress in your own style, but allow for one piece that isn’t quite as revealing as its counterpart. You can wear that hot black tank top with rhinestones, but give your mom a little breathing room by pairing it with those cute jeans that SHE purchased for you. You’re still styling, but without the side plate of a fight with mom.
The fashion you wear and how you wear it says a lot about you, so don’t just brush off the looks you receive from others. Use them as a clue to analyze what you’re wardrobe is saying. Since you’re mom may be struggling with knowing how to communicate with you what she sees as being wrong with your outfit, here are some ideas on what she might have a problem with as well as a few solutions you can utilize to prevent the mom stare-down.
Too much cleavage
Layer a shirt underneath to heighten the level of coverage. Cover up with a jacket, a scarf or wear a cute crop top over your low-cut shirt.
Clothes are too tight
There are many solutions to this problem, and one of them isn’t to wear baggy, oversized clothes. Keep in mind that form fitting is very different than tight. Form fitting is attractive and shows off your natural figure. Tight actually makes you look overweight and can be unattractive, so always opt for form fitting when you can!
If you’re wearing leggings, make sure your butt is covered. Throw on a tunic or dress that covers your backside.
If it’s your top, then wear a jacket or opaque, flowing top over. Or, wear loose fitting culottes or palazzo pants to establish balance.
If it’s a dress or a skirt, wear a scarf or bold necklace to bring attention up to your face not down to your derriere. Layer a jacket or vest that is a little less formfitting over your dress.
Baring skin at your stomach
Crop tops are so cute and fun, especially during the summer months, but they can be totally inappropriate if not worn accurately.
Layer your top over a tank or a form-fitting tee. Wear a crop top over a button-up or under a flannel. Add a blazer to your top.
Opt for a crop denim vest over a tank or shirt rather than a crop-top.
Pair your crop top with a high-waist bottom. Add a bulky belt to your bottoms to raise the waist a smidge if needed.
Shorts or skirt are rather short
Wear a pair of tights or leggings under exceedingly short shorts or skirt. Make sure your top provides full coverage and be sensible on the shoes you’re wearing. You may think wearing cowboy boots is a good compromise because it covers more leg than a sandal, but consider your full look…. Sometimes less is more, because certain shoes paired with shorts can suggest a certain style that you might not be going for.
Bra straps are showing.
The easy answer is to layer your tops. Wear a spaghetti strap tank over one with thicker straps, or put another shirt over your thin-strapped tank. Wear a jacket or extra top with shirts that show your bra (like an open back shirt or an off the shoulder shirt).
If you can manage, wear a strapless bra whenever there’s a slight possibility that your straps might show. Even though it’s fun to have colorful undergarments, make sure your straps are nude or the color of your garment if they might peek out.
Swimsuit is a little skimpy
A one-piece swimsuit isn’t always the best option as some are even more revealing than certain two-piece suits. Look for a suit with supportive straps, no matter how full you are up top. Find a suit with a full coverage bottom, which typically means a wide waistband too. Balance out your look with a full-coverage top and slimmer bottom or a full-coverage bottom with a less concealing top.
You may have to skip Target or the Department Store when shopping for a suit and purchase this season’s fashions at a Specialty Store. They have a more diverse selection, which is always helpful. Also, always wear an appealing cover-up.
Off-the-shoulder shirts are really popular this year, but they aren’t necessarily appropriate for anyone outside their 20’s (unless you’re at a resort or a party). Even then, the shoulder cutout shirts are super popular, so consider swapping one for your off-the-shoulder style. If you insist on wearing a top that sits off your shoulders, then create an illusion by wearing a vest as well. Or, wear a top that sits just at the edge of the shoulders creating a beautiful wide neckline.
It’s incredibly difficult to dress appropriately when the stores don’t really have a lot of selection, and every magazine rack and Instagram feed depicts rather risqué apparel. But, you must always wear clothes that accentuate your best feature. You are beautiful. The way you dress is reflective of how you see your beauty. If you dress baring it all, then you’re saying that you see your beauty as inappropriate. However, if you dress modestly and respectfully, then you’re demonstrating that you see your beauty as radiant and honorable.
No matter what you wear, or where you’re wearing it, consider your age and professional standing. No, you aren’t a career woman yet, but you’re a student – that is your profession. Regardless of whether you’re in school or not, you should look like a student. This doesn’t mean that you should dress in a polo shirt, kaki skirt and glasses – No! It means you should look like a teenager – a young woman who is learning what the world has to offer.
Share your look with us. What have you done to make your style unique, and more importantly show us how you’ve created a modest, yet beautiful look that satisfies your loving mom! #niNeLooksModest to our Instagram or Twitter, message us on Facebook or send us a pic. via email. Can’t wait to see your summer wardrobe!