I remember the first time I tried to flirt with the ‘it’ guy in school, (circa my freshman year of high-school). I strategically planned out my outfit and spent at least an hour reciting my speech in the mirror. The morning of the encounter, I made an extra effort to douse myself with my favorite body splash (in the scent I knew he liked) and I wore what I assumed to be his favorite color. It was going to be perfect.
At 10:00 a.m., I sauntered into class, eyeing him the whole time, and sat directly next to him – a bold move. He glanced at me and then scratched at a scab on his arm. I was in shock. I shook off his reaction though, and struck up a conversation about his band’s recent performance, and how they totally should have won at the talent show. He smiled and then asked if it was because of the guitar rift at the end. What??
Since the beginning of time, men have been unable to understand women, and of course, their main area of confusion would be in the flirtation area. A girl can openly tell a boy she’s in love with him and he still might be a bit fuzzy around the edges. How is this possible?
To put it blatantly, boys just don’t think in the same way girls do. For instance, take the whole clothing issue. Girls assume that a boy is going to notice that they wore their hair differently or that they wore a tighter shirt. Nope. He just thinks it’s funny that girls dress up for school.
Well then, you might ask, how could boys possibly not understand all the verbal signs? Let’s just say those signs become lost somewhere in the space that separates the male and the female. For example, when you mention that you want to see the new horror flick, he doesn’t understand that you’re hinting at a date. He just thinks you’re talking about the movie.
But to be fair, there’s a tiny reason why guys just can’t take the hint. Here it is: Girls aren’t actually giving them solid enough hints. Surprisingly enough, boys aren’t mind readers, just as girls aren’t either. In order to let them know what you really want, you need to voice it and not tiptoe around what you’re trying to say. Here are some helpful hints on how to comfortably speak your mind:
Build a Friendship First
Don’t make your interest in a guy all about lusting over him. Make your relationship about getting to know him and letting him know and understand you. “Hints” are a surface level form of communication that doesn’t have substance backing them up. They’re typically based on physical attraction alone. So, learn to like the guy first, and then you won’t have to rely on hints because you’ll know one another enough to be able to communicate honestly and freely.
Don’t Make it Physical
Know who you are and what you represent. Make anything you say and do worthwhile. Give the guy something interesting to think about and contemplate. Don’t be shy to say what you really mean. Don’t waist time on useless effort, instead, focus your energy on what is really important – being able to share who you are with others.
What’s your motive for dropping a hint? Often times when girls try to hint at something, they’re building themselves up rather than placing the emphasis on the guy. Why do girls focus on their hair, clothes and make-up? Is it to encourage the guy? No, it’s to make them feel better about themselves. Yes, it’s okay to boost yourself and go the extra mile to make yourself feel beautiful, but if you’re really interested in a guy, focus on him – not you.
Connecting with Others
Feeling comfortable communicating with other men will help you understand the guy you’re interested in more because you’ll gain insight on how men think and respond. Being able to associate with other males will assist you throughout life. This skill will help you develop longer lasting, stronger relationships with all kinds of people. So, practice by getting to know the guy you sit by in science class. Connect with the guy that shares the locker next to you, talk to your dad and your brother. Engage with your male teachers. Knowing how to communicate with males will help you in future jobs, talking to professors at college, plus it will ultimately help you have a better relationship with your future husband.
Utilize Digital Media
You live in the digital age, with all kinds of styles of communication, so utilize the technology that resides at your fingertips. Communicate with him in a way that makes you both comfortable. Don’t hide behind digital technology; instead, utilize it to lighten the mood.
We have now reached an era where it’s socially acceptable to ask a boy out on a date. Believe it or not, most guys like when a girl asks them out. It takes the pressure off of them, and boy, do they feel like hot stuff.
But, more importantly, we’ve reached a time when girls don’t constantly have to be in a relationship with a guy. Guys certainly prefer it that way as well. Relationships are hard work and can be stressful, so give yourself and the guy you like a break and just build a solid, fun relationship without all the drama. Then, after you know one another well, he’ll certainly understand all your silly quirks and maybe offer you a few hints of his own.
So if you’re looking for the best way to show a guy that you’re interested, here it is: Gain that confidence and be yourself while learning to communicate who you are. He’s going to finally understand that compliment you’ve been trying to give him, and guess what? You’re going to feel great about yourself too.