Healthy Communication – Boyfriends
Boyfriends are a fun and exciting part of your teenage years. With new technology and apps constantly appearing, communicating with your boyfriend has become easier and trickier at the same time. You don’t have to wait by the phone or anticipate the mail arriving to hear from your significant other. You can text, Snapchat, FaceTime, Skype and follow each other on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Instagram. This can be nice, as it lets you into their world when life is busy and you don’t always have time to talk. However, having so many apps and ways to connect can actually lead to a lot of misconnections. Even with new technology, here are some timeless healthy communication lessons:
No matter how much you like your boyfriend, sometimes life becomes hectic and talking to him may fall to the wayside. Make sure that when your life becomes overwhelming that you take a minute or two to text him and let him know what’s been going on. Try to take some time to call him or see him, even if it’s just for five minutes. Your significant other should never overshadow or fill up your life, but he should be involved and updated in your plans and events.
When your life is not a free-for-all, spending time with your boyfriend is preferable. That makes sense; one of the perks of being in a relationship is having a go-to person to spend time with. However, spending time with only your boyfriend can develop co-dependent tendencies as well as cut off relationships with other people you love. Don’t forget about your relationships with your friends, family and mentors. Grab a cup of coffee after school with your boyfriend but then spend your evening with your phone off while studying and hanging out with your friends after having dinner with your family. Make time for him, but never forget about the other people in your life.
One of the best things about having a boyfriend is knowing that there’s someone very close to you who finds you interesting, attractive and special. This is a wonderful feeling that should be present in every healthy romantic relationship. However, do not base your confidence and self-worth only in what he thinks of you. There will be bad days when he’s stressed and unintentionally ignores you. He may zone out while listening to you. Relationships are not all “fun and games,” and he may not always feel crazy about you (and you may not always feel crazy about him). Never depend on another person to give you your worth. The only one can define your worth and never fail you is Jesus. He created you uniquely, and finds joy in you as a person. Obtain your worth in Him, and the days you don’t feel good about yourself will be more bearable.
Spending time together is great, but take it a step further and be involved in each other’s lives. All relationships you have, platonic or romantic, need involvement and investment in each other. Invite him over for dinner, go to his concerts or games and hang out with his family or friends. Take turns introducing each other to activities that interest you. Spend time becoming involved in one another’s lives, and you’ll find yourself with a friend as well as a boyfriend.
One of the most exciting parts of being in a relationship is learning to communicate with your body. Holding hands, touching, kissing and hugging are all enjoyable components of being in a relationship. You demonstrate how you feel about your boyfriend though physical communication. But, there’s a lot of physical communication that’s often forgot that can actually demonstrate more affection than a heavy make-out session. Eye contact seems simple, but is one of the most alluring ways to connect with a loved one. Listening to your boyfriend – really listening to his heart, his interests, his dreams and goals (and then sharing your heart with him) will establish a foundation beyond any physical intimacy. Taking an old fashioned approach of writing love letters or poetry, singing each other songs and giving each other simple gifts can speak more about your love than any number of kisses. Intense PDA and sexy texts aren’t healthy communication and they can lead to obsession, which is never healthy. But, compassion and care for the heart of another is passionate communication.
Whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, parent, sibling or mentor, discovering how to communicate and serve others is a constant lesson we all need. We would love to hear about the unique ways you communicate with your significant other! Tweet to us @NineMag, message us on Facebook or send an email with your stories!