Sexy vs. Beautiful
Imagine you’re going on a date; staring into your closet, trying to find something to wear. Tossing aside polo shirts, jeans and your favorite dresses for a number of reasons. Too stuffy. Too casual. Too formal. But really, it’s all not sexy enough. You stress out, digging through piles of clothes until you find your lowest cut shirt or shortest skirt. In your mind the only way to impress a guy is to show him that you’re sexy.
But what is “sexy”? There’s no clear roadmap to discovering the makings of a sexy woman. The media prints lots of articles with headlines like “how to make him think you’re hot” or “10 tips to make you sexier,” all claiming to be the authority on sexy. However, if you compare the articles they don’t necessarily agree on the tactics and rules. Sexy seems to constantly change with every media blast to the point where it’s impossible to know what one can do to become truly sexy. Some girls sport low-cut t-shirts thinking that’s what makes them sexy. Others apply heavy makeup. Many girls make an attempt at “being sexy” in order to attract a guy without knowing what is sexy.
If you look up the word sexy in the dictionary, it’s defined in four ways: “sexually attractive, sexually exciting, appealing and sexually aroused.” It says nothing about how long your skirt should be nor how much cleavage is necessary. Instead, it’s all about how someone else perceives you on the surface. And of course, you assume that guys are attracted to girls who parade around in short skirts, with lots of cleavage and a face full of make-up. You see girls on television and in magazines who look like that and buy into the belief that these are the only girls men want in their lives. You call them “sexy” and then aspire to be just like them.
Being sexy is not only unfulfilling, it’s also exhausting. You’re spending all your time and resources focusing on what other people think of you rather than being your true self. All of your energy is wasted on keeping up a facade. You could be “sexy” today but what about tomorrow, or the day after that? Like Cinderella’s transformation, sexy doesn’t last forever. It’s understandable that you want guys to find you attractive. But if you’re relying only on external appearance and someone’s personal opinion, then you’re fighting a losing battle. So, how are you supposed to get them to like you if being “sexy” isn’t enough? As cliché as it sounds, your personal beauty is what should win over a guy’s heart.
Whereas sexy only defines a simple outer appearance, which can change from day to day, beauty encompasses everything that is a true part of who you are. Yes, you can have good looks, but beauty is so much more. Being beautiful isn’t something in which you should be ashamed. Beauty is something that all women have and should cherish. If a guy can’t recognize your beauty, then he can’t recognize you. Beauty is intelligence, compassion, trust and all the other characteristics that are valued in life. These are the things that you should be known for; not the amount of cleavage you show. Put the shoe on the other foot and think about a guy trying to impress you rather than you trying to impress a guy. Would you want a man who’s only concerned about how he looks or one concerned with being his true self? In other words, would you rather have a guy who is proud of his big bulge or has integrity and compassion?
Striving to be sexy doesn’t make you a better person or a better match for a guy. It turns you into a sexual object. Do you want every guy you come across to only see you sexually? What about way down the line when you’re married? Do you want your husband to only find you sexy? Of course not! You want to be known for your kindness, patience, faithfulness and everything else that makes you not only a godly woman, but beautiful!
Beauty is something that all women have and should cherish. If a guy can’t recognize your beauty, then he can’t recognize you.
You don’t have to wait until you’re older to feel beautiful. You’re beautiful RIGHT NOW. God didn’t create you to need to work at being beautiful. Your beauty is God given. You don’t have to lure men by being sexy, hoping that they will one day see your beauty, either. The guys who take you only for your sexiness usually never end up loving you for what’s on the inside anyways. Take pride in yourself and seek out relationships that allow you to demonstrate your true beauty. Sexy is out. Beauty is in.
God made you beautiful and He wants you to know that NOW! Here’s what He has to say about the beauty you are:
1 Peter 3:3-4 – Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
God does not look at outward appearances. He looks at what is inside your heart. As followers of Christ we strive to follow the example God gave to us through Jesus. If Jesus values inward appearances over outward appearances, we should do the same. Our bodies are God’s temple. Not the temple of our possible boyfriends!