Green: You Go Girl
Maybe the real question isn’t if you should ask this boy out, but when. The two of you flirt all the time, both in and out of school. You’ve hung out together on weekends and your communication extends outside of class, into text messages, online chats and phone calls. People might have commented on a potential connection and your friends know him and approve. Your flirting establishes that he’s already more than a friend, so what is holding the two of you back?
Before slamming the pedal to the medal, be positive the guy’s worth your while. Both the attraction and the pursuit should be mutual. Ask yourself if you’re the one constantly calling him or searching him out? Also, make note if he flirts with EVERY girl, or are you the one and only? If he hasn’t singled you out, you might want to lay off the gas, switch lanes and see if he continues the communication without 100% of your efforts. If the chemistry continues to be thick, go ahead and pursue him.
Yellow: Slow Down Sally
He may be someone you’ve been eyeing since school started, or one of your guy friends you’re starting to see in a whole new light. You know more than the basics about each other and talk occasionally, to often. You’ve watched him play goalie all fall, you’re respective posses have run into each other a couple of times at the theatre on Fridays and his mom always takes a moment to say “hi” to you when she drops him off at youth group. Your friendship is heading into date territory, so you feel as if it’s time to push things to the next level.
Prior to giving it a little more gas, ask yourself, “Would you ruin the friendship if you asked him about pursuing a relationship?” Reflect on whether he has ever mentioned a future relationship with you. Do you notice any signs that he might be eyeing another girl? And do either one of you want to be in a dating relationship right now in your life? Just because you’re attracted to guys doesn’t mean you need to be dating them. Strong friendships are worth protecting and guarding, so don’t be afraid to put on the brakes and ride it out a little longer.
Red: Stop, Look and Listen
The guy is gorgeous, super smart and an awesome athlete. But…does he know your name? You may dream about him every single night, but have you two ever really talked? Do you know anything about him – his personality, beliefs, ideas about the future, strengths and weaknesses? Would he be able to answer a basic question about you?
To prevent a catastrophic crash resulting from running a red light, slam on your breaks. Before you start signing a new last name, stop and take a realistic appraisal of your position. If you need help coming back to earth, ask your friend for her honest opinion about not only your hopeful honey, but the chances of you two getting together. Then, concentrate on getting to know each other. If you can corral the courage to chat him up, it will be easier down the road to hit the gas and go for it, but now is definitely not the time.