There’s a human problem…a problem with reality—with being true and honest and really sharing ourselves and our lives with other people. We, as humans, as Americans, dance around who we really are, relentlessly trying to fit in…trying to be someone or something the world has made us believe we should be. We’re never pretty enough, thin enough, funny enough, sexy enough. We trade our friends, our security, our self-worth to be noticed, and we hand over our personalities, changing who we are, just to find a fleeting moment of recognition.
This universal problem of fakeness plays out in significant ways for young men in dating relationships. More than any other issue is this trouble with fake relationships. They want to know why their girlfriends gossip so much—why girls are different around certain people—why she expects so much now, but used to be so carefree in the beginning.
So instead of trying to answer guys’ pressing questions, We’ll ask you…“Why?” Who are you when you first meet a guy and why do you need to impress him?
Granted, society demands a lot of competition. When your love interest thinks Zendaya is “hot,” you may be tempted to mimic her, to act like her, to become her. But guys are dying for girls to just be real. They want a girl who’s unafraid to leave the house without make-up, in jeans and a t-shirt, comfortable with who she is. They want a real person, not a sitcom personality.
So before you become interested in dating a guy, make sure he values you for you—make sure he’s worth it. If you have to become someone else to get his attention—he’s not worth it. If you have to ask yourself the question, “Am I not enough?”—he’s not worth it.
You are enough. In this very moment, these few quiet minutes while you read these sincere words, hear that you are enough—you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, you’re you. So next time you feel tempted to reinvent yourself, remember the voices from the guys who are longing for a girl who’s real and remember your own worth.