You’ve probably seen him in movies – he’s the guy with the bad reputation and edgy style. Although Hollywood promotes this type of boy as attractive and adventurous, he could be dangerous. Before falling for him, there are a few things you should consider. So, start by asking yourself these five questions.
1. Is he a Christian?
Dating someone who doesn’t know Jesus is exhausting and spiritually draining. Although you may think you’ll be a good influence, it’ll eventually put a strain on your relationship with God. It’s important to be with a guy who shares your desire to grow closer to God.
2. Does he respect you?
You deserve respect. If he treats you badly or pressures you, he’s not honoring you (or your body), so he doesn’t deserve your attention.
3. Do your parents like him?
Your parents have your best interest in mind. If they don’t approve, there’s probably a good reason. Using a relationship to defy your parents won’t help you earn independence, and as their daughter, you should try to be obedient to their instruction.
4. Do your close friends like him?
Your friends want the best for you. If they have concerns about the guy, it may be because they can see character traits about him that you haven’t noticed. It’s easy to become caught up in the attraction you feel for a guy, causing you to ignore the overall picture.
5. If he weren’t a bad boy, would you still like him?
It’s normal to have crushes, but if you’re attracted to a boy because you’re trying to rebel, you should reconsider your interest. If you’re going through a hard time and you think he understands you, think again. He won’t be able to help you longterm, nor will he be able to help you like your parents or a counselor could.
If your answer to any of these questions is “No,” you need to reconsider your interest. Dating a bad boy may seem like fun, but there’s more at stake than your reputation. Here are four reasons why dating him may be hurtful or dangerous.
- You’ll lose the trust of your parents and friends.
- He’s a bad influence.
- Your heart is fragile.
- You may be in real danger.
There are many risks to being involved with a bad boy, so ask yourself: “Is he really worth it?”
Ultimately, you choose who you spend time with. Relationships are just as much about what you bring to another person as what they offer you. The person you are in relationship with is a reflection of your character and the positive life you want to experience. To enter into a relationship to show other people that you’re different only pulls you away from who God called you to be. If you’re indulging in a relationship for selfish reasons or personal gain, you really need to examine why you’re in the relationship. Selfishness is never a good quality of a relationship.
If a bad boy has hurt your relationships with friends, family or God, don’t be afraid to apologize and ask for forgiveness. No matter what you’ve done, God loves you and nothing is too big for Him to forgive.
Bad boys can be appealing because they’re interesting. Maybe you just want to know more about their views and unique style. One way you can learn more about them and avoid temptation is to spend time together in an appropriate group setting, like going to lunch or a movie with your other Christian friends. Befriending the bad boys exposes you to diversity, and it allows you to be a light in your school, but you ultimately need to protect yourself.
