How to Achieve a Deeper Relationship with Friends
Friends are great and usually bountiful, but the individuals you turn to when you need to cry or vent are even better. Even then, those who you believe are your closest friends may not be. These friendships may need extra work to create the deep connection and understanding you desire. How do you sort out the level of trust you have in your friends while progressing to a deeper connection with each of them?
Consider The Level of Trust in a Closer Friendship
When you and your friends talk, is the topic meaningful or is it just superficial? This means talking about more than just homework assigned or the cute guy you saw in the hallway—rather it’s talking about your home life and genuinely wondering about each other’s mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. By conversing beyond superficial chatter you’ve begun to establish that there is a deeper connection. Plus, when you have intimate conversations like these, you offer yourself as a support system: someone they can trust and rely on at any moment. Doing this helps them see that you want the friendship to be strong and for it to grow. They know you’re trustworthy, and that being vulnerable around you isn’t wrong. You show them that you have the time and desire to be their strength when they have none.
Ask Yourself Who You Want to be Close With
Who is it in your group of friends that, for some reason, entice you to want a deeper connection with them? Where the feeling comes from is unexplainable; but, when you’re around them, you feel at ease and want to share your heart. In fact, that unexplainable feeling may exist because of their essence. They walk a close path with God and the Holy Spirit like you, and you want to venture that path with them. Or maybe they have characteristics that you greatly admire and want to mimic. If you have this impression around a specific person, then it may be a sign to dig deeper into the companionship. Come to them with an open heart and show them that they can be at ease and share with you—that you both can flourish together.
A Closer Friendship Require Time and Effort
If you have someone in mind that you want to become closer to, then spend more time with them. Go places that encourage mental stimulation and deep conversation between you two. Go to an art exhibit or even church with one another and discuss the things you saw or heard. Take classes on subjects you’re both passionate about (i.e dancing or cooking classes).
You should also ask your parents their opinion about the person. Parents have an uncanny sixth sense about who may or may not be good for you, as their child. If you’re ever unsure (or want to be reassured) pick their brain for opinions about the potential friends. They won’t sugar coat how they feel about them. Developing friendships into something more meaningful will never feel like a chore if you’re with the right person.
This is the same for rekindling old friendships. Be honest and open with the person in which you want to be close. Express your concerns and hopes with them. Don’t concern yourself with “What if they don’t want to trust me,” or “What if they don’t like me at all?” They were put in your life for a reason. It’s okay if you have to admit to yourself that the friendships you thought were intimate are more distant than what you were led to believe. Friendships between fellow Christians grow once both parties have taken steps to develop their relationship to God. Without the guidance of the Lord in your friendships, you may soon realize that certain friendships have hit a wall and won’t develop any further. Pray that God will help you to guide this friend closer to you or bring you closer to likeminded Christians.
