There’s no Perfect Person
What girl wouldn’t want Ryan Gosling as a boyfriend? He’s attractive, thoughtful, witty and endearing. If life with him were anything like his Romantic Comedies, we’d probably combust with happiness. The idea of a guy that looks like Ryan Gosling treating us as though we’re the most important person in the world, despite any of our shortcomings, is enchanting. We want our boyfriend to cherish us for who we are, but sometimes we forget to do the same for him.
There’s nothing wrong with having expectations on how we want to be treated by a potential boyfriend; nor is it bad to have preset expectations on physical or mental aspects of a guy. However, we have to realize that some things we want in a guy are completely impractical. If our crush is brunette, average height and build, plus smart, we can’t expect him to dye his hair blonde, achieve washboard abs, grow 5 inches and suddenly become Einstein. It completely disrespects his worth and how God designed him. We would never want a guy to claim that he likes us and then try to change us, so we shouldn’t do that to him either.
When we like a guy that doesn’t necessarily meet our usual expectations, we should make a list of all the qualities he possesses that makes him desirable. It may seem surprising that the ideals we originally thought were important aren’t actually what we want or need. Falling for the guy who doesn’t match up with our typical prospects has happened to many and it’s happened for a reason. God created the man we’re destined to be with for the rest of our lives. God will help us recognize who that man is, so we must trust Him more than our own ideals.
By asking God to guide us through our dating relationships, He’ll tell us when the timing is right to step into a relationship. He knows who we should date and who we should avoid. He would never place someone in your life who has intentions of diverting us from our path. It doesn’t hurt to pray and ask God to show us what we want in a man, because sometimes we truly don’t know, but He will.
The type of men Ryan Gosling plays are in movies for a reason. Comparing a real guy to a fictional character is immature and leaves us in a fantasy world limbo. Modified versions of what’s actually real are constantly being fed to us. As a result, our judgement and expectations can become clouded. It’s important to know what’s reality and what’s just television fantasy. If we don’t intentionally make this distinction in our heart and mind, then we may hinder potential future relationships. Characters in a movie don’t represent real people. The characters portrayed in media don’t exist. We are human. Don’t let our characteristics and personality traits be defied or belittled by fictitious characters. Humans are imperfect sinners, but we’re created to love and cherish one another. Though we are far from the dreamworld of mass media, we’re growing to become the person God created us to be.
Stop looking for perfection in the guy you’re dating. The only perfect man in our world is Jesus. God took the time to create the men we encounter in our lives—they are who they are for a reason. By looking at guys in our lives through the lens of God, we see them for who they are and not what we believe they should be. We should appreciate what our crushes’ can already provide us and cherish who they are, despite any shortcomings. We’d want them to do the same for us. By looking at their worth via God, our relationship will be more fruitful and internally rewarding.