While hanging out at your best friend’s house, she receives a text from her neighbor down the street asking if you’re going to be at her pool party over the weekend. He’s had a crush on you for months but hasn’t had the guts to ask you out. Your friend starts giggling and joking about the two of you being a couple.
He’s a nice guy, but honestly, you don’t really like him. You don’t want to be mean and tell him that you’re not interested in being his girlfriend, but you don’t want to just go along with it either. The party’s in a couple days, so you have a little time to figure out how to respond.
Time to Seek Relationship Guidance
Your Best Friend Says, “Go For It.”
Your friend knows how you feel, so you ask her what to do. She thinks he’s a cool guy and that you might like him. She thinks you should give him a chance and say, “yes.”
Your Brother Says, “Don’t Do It.”
When you get home, you find your brother playing hoops in the driveway. You ask him for his opinion on the situation. He tells you that you should be honest, but nice and admit that you don’t like him. “No guy wants a girlfriend who isn’t into him,” he says.
Your Parents Say, “You Don’t Need a Boyfriend.”
That evening, you ask your mom what you should do while she’s cleaning up from dinner. She says that you’re still young to be worrying about dating and having a boyfriend. Your dad walks into the kitchen and says, “Why can’t you two just be friends?”
Your Youth Pastor Says, “Build a Foundation First.”
The next afternoon, a group of friends from church gather together. You take a moment to ask your youth pastor what to do. She responds by saying, “Well, the Bible doesn’t really talk about relationships, but it does talk a lot about friendship. Perhaps, you should consider being his friend first. If you don’t like him, you definitely shouldn’t be his girlfriend. But, before you turn him down, you should give him a chance. Get to know him by building a foundation for a potential relationship.”
After asking everyone’s opinion, you spend some time praying about what to do.
Relationship Guidance At the party…
As you’re helping your friend bring the sodas out to the pool, you see him coming into the backyard. He spots you right away, gives you a shy smile and heads straight toward you. You acknowledge him with a head nod and a return smile. As you watch him walk toward you confidently, you realize that this is the moment.
First, he tells you that you look really beautiful and that he’s been thinking about you a lot this summer. Locking eyes with you, he asks, “Would you be my girlfriend?”
You respond, “I really like you too, but I want to get to know you better before we become girlfriend and boyfriend. Can we hang out for a while first and see where it leads?”
He looks a little let down. You can tell he’s a bit upset that you didn’t say, “Yes.” So, you grab his hand and pull him toward the pool. “Come on,” you say.
The two of you have a blast at the pool. Your friend is right, he’s a cool guy, but you still don’t know him well enough to dive right into a relationship. Before he walks home, you exchange numbers. That night, you text him, “Thanks for asking me to be your girlfriend. That really meant a lot to me. I had a great day with you today.” You text back and forth for a couple hours before you both fall asleep.
The next afternoon, you text him asking if he wants to meet you and some friends for ice cream over the weekend. He agrees. After ice cream, he says, “A group of friends are getting together for a movie marathon at my place. Want to join?” You think that sounds fun, so you make plans with your best friend to head over to his house.
The more you hang out, you two become closer and you’re glad you became friends first. You realize if you would have said yes to being his girlfriend first, you would have felt a certain pressure that wouldn’t have allowed you to relax and be yourself. You would have felt rushed or pressured into certain situations that are implied in relationships.
You also realized that it would have been awful to have said, “No” to him because then you would have lost out on being friends. You would have hurt him, and possibly regretted the missed opportunity. But, you also consider the fact that you could have hung out as friends and realized that you didn’t like one another at all. It’s a lot easier to let a friendship fade away than it is to end a relationship. There’s too much drama and emotion involved in ending a relationship.
After being friends for a while, your parents got to know him and really like him as well. While hanging out at your house, your dad asked him, “Hey, when are you going to ask my daughter to be your girlfriend?” You both look at each other and laugh. Next thing you know, you’re holding hands and stepping into a new role as a couple.
