As you plunge yourself into the college admission process, you’ll certainly run into a variety of questions and doubts. We’ve taken four key questions we’ve heard and broken them down:
1. What should I do if my ideal college isn’t in line with what my parents want for me?
A. There’s a reason there’s so many movies about teenagers feeling trapped into going to the college their parents want them to attend. This situation is actually rather common. Choosing a college is actually a very emotional decision and parents have distinct feelings regarding their college experience as well as hopes for what you encounter.
It’s a parent’s duty and responsibility to know what’s best for you. Perhaps this is true of your parents, perhaps it’s not. In either case, you’re the one who has to live with the decision you make. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth going against their wishes, or if it’s worth giving in. Either way, you’re entering into adulthood, and it’s time to start seeing your parents as adults, not just parents. That means you need to show them a different kind of respect and honor so they can do the same toward you. Speak to them about what you want and why. Tell them your concerns and your desires. Listen and try to understand their thoughts, feelings and preferences.
If you don’t have a relationship with your parents where you can openly speak to them, write them a letter. In the letter, ask them to share their ideas with you so you can sit down and discuss the matter further.
If a conversation with your parents doesn’t turn out to be helpful, then set up an appointment with your guidance counselor who can help you communicate the issue to your parents. Brief your counselor prior to the meeting and let him or her be the person who helps your family find a positive compromise that will work for your particular situation.
Once you’ve laid everything out on the table, keep discussing the situation. Even if you’ve come to a conclusion, it’s still good to talk about it as new ideas and thoughts come to mind.
2. I’m not certain how much my parents can afford for college. When should money become a part of the selection process?
A. College can be very expensive, and the return on investment isn’t as good as it used to be. Therefore, attending college may not be the best option. But, if you desire a college career, what your family can afford is very personal. Your parents may or may not have a financial plan for paying for college. Understand that the responsibility is on you. As you enter into adulthood, you have to know how to be responsible for the investments you make. Pursue what you desire for a college and if your parents are concerned about your choice, they will let you know. But be prepared to share with them your financial plan.
First, apply to a few colleges that fit your character, personality and hopes for the future. Once you’ve been accepted, you can see what financial support options are available through the college. Possibly a work study, grant or scholarship. You can also factor cheaper living and finding an off-campus job. Private colleges do provide more financial aid. Try to avoid student loans if possible. They’re not a helpful way to begin adulthood.
Be aware, unless you’re in the top 25% of the applicants for a particular college, you may not be considered due to your need for financial aid. Or, you might not receive as much “free money” (from grants, scholarships and honor programs). Avoid colleges that have a fairly selective student population. Schools do look at your ability to pay, so apply to at least two colleges where you have a good chance of being accepted. You’ll need to make yourself look really interesting on paper.
3. How important is my essay?
A. Your essay is a key place to present your personality, so it is very important. Don’t waste time and space reiterate your academic coarse load, test scores or class ranking. If the college asks for certain information on the application, then don’t include it in your essay. Instead, share who you are, what you like, your hopes, goals and desires for the future. Provide something interesting that your application form and transcript won’t reveal. Write your essay in an approachable tone, be personable. This is not a book report. Write it as if you were writing to your grandma or best friend.
Your essay alone can’t get you into a college, but it can move you from a “possible” candidate to an accepted student, or vice versa. Give your essay some thought, time and attention.
4. Can I coast through my coarse load my senior year?
A. It’s important to be consistent with your class load all four years of high school. If you’ve been working hard and have been very strict for three years, then you may be able to take a little break, but don’t plan on coasting through your senior year. Your class load your senior year says a lot about your interests, ability, motivation and maturity. It doesn’t make sense to work hard for three years and then take it easy right before heading off to another four to five years of hard work. A college isn’t necessarily going to accept that approach. Courses that don’t demand too much from you during your senior sends the wrong message. An easy load could cause a college to second guess choosing you as a student, or it could impact financial aid.
When it comes to choosing a college, ask yourself where you want to call “home” for the next several years. Which college compliments who God created you to be? When you ask God where He wants you to go, what college do you feel most at peace about? Ultimately, that’s the college you should pursue.
